I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
