I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
