Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
