I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
