And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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