i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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