Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
