she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
