I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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