i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
