we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
