I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
