i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
