I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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