How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
