I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I checked into jail on foursquare
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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