dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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