Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
