Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
