Can Purell be used as lube?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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