do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
