Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
