I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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