he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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