The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
