after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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