Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
