yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
