Can i not drive my cunt home
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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