You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
