well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
