Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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