Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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