so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
