That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
