Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
