She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's no shave November. This is our time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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