I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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