i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
