She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
