She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
