For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
