have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
