My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
