fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I need a hoe opinion
go on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
