where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
