Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
