i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
