did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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