your room smells of hookers.
And success
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I touched a dick in church today
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
