You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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