I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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