He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
