you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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