pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
