You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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